Small Bump
by angelbear1512
Summary: 'Cause you were just a small bump unborn for four months then torn from life. Maybe you were needed up there but we're still unaware as why.


**I feel like I should apologize before you guys start reading this. So, I was listening to random Ed Sheeran songs and reading Kames fanfiction, and I had never heard Small Bump before, so I clicked it. Big mistake. What made it worse was that I listened to Autumn Leaves right after, and damn it all if I didn't get insane feels. Anyways, I'll just let you read now. :)**

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James collapsed against Kendall, wordlessly sobbing. This wasn't supposed to happen, was it? Kendall's arms wrapped themselves around James's waist, trying to hold in his own tears. He had to be strong, but when the doctor spoke his final words, Kendall broke, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm very sorry." The doctor apologized. Kendall doesn't want the doctor's sympathy. He just wants his baby girl.

"Can we see Maggie?"

The doctor nods his head, and Kendall and James walk down the hallway, and open the door to a plain-white hospital room. Maggie, their surrogate, is lying in the bed, tears silently streaming down her face. She looks up as Kendall and James enter the room, and they immediately all embrace in a sorrowful hug. When they finally break apart, Maggie wipes her eyes.

"I'm so sorry." She manages to choke out.

"It's not your fault." Kendall whispers. "The doctor said these things happen sometimes."

James nods his head, fighting back his own tears. "We don't blame you, Maggie."

They all sit there and cry for a while, before Kendall and James give their best wishes to Maggie, and leave the hospital.

"What do we do now?" James asks quietly.

Kendall has no clue. How are they supposed to send back all the gifts and what are they going to do with the nursery, and most importantly, how are they supposed to tell people about their baby girl? Kendall takes a deep, calming breath. "I suppose we should call our moms first."

James nods his head. "What should we do with her things?"

"I don't know. Let's just get through telling everybody first."

The pair slowly made their way home, neither saying a word, both silently enveloped in their own grief. When they reached their house, James got out of the car, and walked inside. He climbed the stairs slowly, and stopped in front of the nursery door, before taking a deep breath, and walking inside. He looked at the light pink walls, the closet filled with little clothes, and the big pile of stuffed toys from her uncles Carlos and Logan. James sank into the rocking chair in the corner, tears streaming down his face. This wasn't fair. Why their baby girl?

Kendall found him a few minutes later. "Jamie? Your mom's on the phone."

James lifted his head, and took the phone from Kendall's outstretched hand. "Mom?"

"Hey baby. You okay?"

"Why her, Mom? Why our baby girl?"

"Jamie, you know I don't have the answer to that."

"Mom, it hurts so badly."

"I know, baby. I know, but you'll get through this. You're strong. Now, I have a meeting, but we'll talk later. I promise."

James hung up the phone, and collapsed back into the chair. Kendall sat on his lap, and buried his face into James's neck.

They both sat there, wordlessly, until there was a knock on their front door. Kendall sat up, and gently pushed himself up off of James to go answer the door. James doesn't even look up, until someone knocks on the nursery door. Carlos is standing there.

"Can I come in?"

James nods his head, and Carlos pulls him into a hug. That's when James broke. His sobs racked his body as he clung to his best friend. Carlos doesn't say anything, he just clenches James tighter. When Kendall and Logan come in a few minutes later, they immediately embrace in a group hug.

"I'm so sorry, guys." Logan murmurs, as they all break apart. "What can we do?"

James and Kendall shrug. "I'm not sure." Kendall says, slowly. "We're not even sure what we need to do?"

"Have you told Gustavo yet?"

Kendall and James shake their heads. They're not looking forward to that phone call.

Logan pulls out his phone, and dials their boss. "Gustavo? It's Logan. Look, we can't come in today. No, we're not sick, or hurt. No, it's about Maggie. Kendall and James's surrogate? Well, she lost the baby. Yeah, okay. Bye." Logan hung up his phone. "Gustavo's giving us some time off, and he said he's going to call Griffin, and Kelly."

Kendall and James nodded gratefully. Their friends stayed for a little longer, before leaving, with promises to come back tomorrow. That night, Kendall and James went to bed, feeling slightly better.

"Jamie?"

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking, maybe it's better this way."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, maybe something was wrong."

"You mean with baby girl?"

"Yeah. I mean, maybe she was going to suffer here on earth, and now, she's in a better place."

"Maybe, but it still hurts."

"I know, but we'll get through this, babe." Kendall yawned, and slowly drifted off to sleep. James, finding he couldn't sleep, quietly slipped out of bed, and padded down the hallway to the nursery.

"You're just a small bump unborn, in four months you're brought to life, you might be left with my hair, but you'll have your father's eyes, I'll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as I can, but for now your scan of my unmade plans, a small bump in four months, you're brought to life." He sang softly, rocking in the rocking chair. "I'll hold you tightly, I'll give you nothing but truth, if you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you."

The tears started falling down his cheeks again, thinking about all the plans they had had for their baby girl. "You are my one and only. You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight. Oh, you are my one and only. You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight. And you'll be alright." He picked up a small bear from the corner, and squeezed it tightly.

"Oh, you're just a small bump unknown; you'll grow into your skin. With a smile like his and a dimple beneath your chin. Finger nails the size of a half grain of rice, and eyelids closed to be soon opened wide a small bump, in four months you'll open your eyes." The tears were really falling now. James lifted his hand to wipe them away. "And I'll hold you tightly, I'll tell you nothing but truth, if you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you…"

He doesn't look up when Kendall comes in. He just continues to cry, and sing, holding the stuffed bear for dear life. "You are my one and only. You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight. Oh, you are my one and only. You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight. And you'll be alright."

Kendall joins him on the next part. "You can lie with me, with your tiny feet, when you're half asleep, I'll leave you be. Right in front of me, for a couple weeks, so I can keep you safe. 'Cause you are my one and only. You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight. You are my one and only. You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight. And you'll be alright."

James completely breaks down, and Kendall finishes the rest of the song, kneeling next to James, rubbing his back, soothing him. "'Cause you were just a small bump unborn for four months then torn from life. Maybe you were needed up there but we're still unaware as why."

The two sat there for a little longer, before Kendall pulled James back into their bedroom. Kendall knew they were going to be okay. They were going to get through this. One day, maybe they could try again, and if they didn't, Kendall still had James, and as long as he had James, everything would be okay.

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**So? What do you think? Leave a review, and tell me! :)**


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